This past week I accompanied my wife to two separate shows in the space of three days leading up to Thanksgiving. I say “I accompanied her” because if not for her desire to see the artists we saw, I can honestly say I wouldn’t have gone. That does not mean I didn’t enjoy myself, however. It was ALL about girl’s night out, and that can make for some entertaining people watching if nothing else. Keep reading, I will explain…

The two shows we attended were Gwen Stefani and Fiona Apple. Both are solo female artists and I would not be going out on a limb to say that both have a majority female audience. That’s where the similarities end though. Gwen Stefani is on a major pop arena tour, complete with hip-hop dancers and a bubble machine. Fiona Apple is on an intimate, feel-her-from-the-depths-of-her-soul theatre tour. The contrast between the experiences of these two shows was dramatic.

Which show was better? That’s a difficult question; because it really comes down to what kind of experience you are looking to have at a show. It’s all about the mix of people in the crowd, the tempo of the music, the venue, etc, etc. There are too many factors to list. So I’ve done the hard work for you and laid out the most important factors on which to judge these shows…

Gwen Stefani - November 20th, 2005
Key Area - Seattle, WA

Factors (1-10, 1 = non-existent, 10 = ridiculously strong):

• Screaming-teenage-girl factor: 10
  High-pitched doesn’t begin to describe it.
• Screaming-drunk-girl factor: 6
  There weren’t too many of these since the average age of the audience was about 8 years old, but two of the most drunk swayed and stumbled around in the row in front of us the entire show. Good stuff.
• Girls-emulating-the-girl-they-came-to-see factor: 8
  The 8 year-olds were representing!
• Testosterone-filled-muscle-necked-jock factor: 2
  There were a few there, but they all had their girlfriends/wives pulling them around. Kinda like a bulldog on a leash.
• Angst-ridden-evil-looks-from-strangers factor: 4
  It was a festive atmosphere, so there wasn’t too much angst in the house. The only reason this was a 4 was there were some dudes mean-muggin’ the 8 year olds because they were having more fun than they were. Jealous maybe?
• Crazy-style-hip-hop-dancers factor: 9
  I never even thought of this as a factor to judge a show on, but since there were at least 8 of them on the stage at all times with Gwen, it has to be considered.
• Amazing-wow-this-artist-is-so-talented factor: 5
  She is talented…she must’ve changed outfits 10 times and each change-of-clothes only took around 30 seconds. Impressive!

Fiona Apple - November 23rd, 2005
The Moore Theatre - Seattle, WA

Factors (1-10, 1 = non-existent, 10 = ridiculously strong):

• Screaming-teenage-girl factor: 3
  I have to say, the crowd noise was quite pleasant, but I still might not have been able to hear to well at that point, as only 36 hours had passed since leaving the Gwen show.
• Screaming-drunk-girl factor: 6
  You wouldn’t think there would be too many of these since this show was with a much more mature, responsible crowd. But again, two of the most drunk fell down next to us in the aisle and talked just-loud-enough-to-notice the entire show.
• Girls-emulating-the-girl-they-came-to-see factor: 8
  The 30 year-olds were representing!
• Testosterone-filled-muscle-necked-jock factor: 2
  There were a few there, but they all had their girlfriends/wives pulling them around. Kinda like a bulldog on a leash. Yes, just like Gwen.
• Angst-ridden-evil-looks-from-strangers factor: 7
  The disturbing thing about the high score on this is that most of these came from Fiona herself.
• Crazy-style-hip-hop-dancers factor: 0
  I don’t think I saw ONE hip-hop dancer on stage.
• Amazing-wow-this-artist-is-so-talented factor: 9
  Fiona killed it, especially with her dance moves. You know, the little shuffle-wave-your-arms-like-you’re-crazy-jig she does.

Overall, I would have to say I was more into the Fiona experience, but both were quite surreal and, *gulp*, entertaining. Hopefully this has helped you get a feel for the differences between the two shows, and please, wear earplugs. Safety first!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, someone wanted me to take a picture of Willa dancing at the Gwen show, so here you go.