Asshole Central

December 15th, 2005

Are you an asshole? Do you feel the need to berate and call random strangers “fag” or “fat ass” or say that they “fucking suck”? If so, then you should play Xbox LIVE!

Xbox LIVE is an online gaming service that has become a major hub of assholes worldwide. You will find the majority of users are other people that share your same affinity for screaming, using racial slurs, and other wise acting like jackasses.

Even better, the makers of Xbox LIVE have just upped the experience of playing on the service with a new console, the Xbox 360. The 360 promises that everyone will be able to be an asshole in high-definition! This means that all you assholes will be able to call people “niggers” and “jew balls” and be assured that your assertions will be broadcast to others in full surround sound and in exceptional detail.

I for one, can’t wait.

4 Responses to “Asshole Central”

  1. Insensitive Prick Says:

    I’m there bitch. That was the whole reason I got into the xbox. I can be the bigot I always loved myself to be, but hidden behind a gammer tag. Why do you think Halo2 has Klans? It is based off the proud American way of intolerance and hiding under a white sheet.

  2. noob fag Says:

    I thought it was common knowledge that the Masterchief was the reincarnated Hitler.

  3. nick Says:

    Even the dude writing on Bungie’s site is sick of all the asshole’s…peep this little excerpt:

    Still no shortage of IDIOTS on Live though. One complete assclown spent the entire game belittling his own team for not being as good as him, even though we were handily beating the rival team. It would be one thing if he were one of those twelve year old screaming Saturday morning idiots, but this was a 20-something dude, trolling Team Snipers and plainly acting like this in every game he played. I hope he’s reading this. And I hope he examines his life. Here’s a laundry list of his qualities for him to ponder:

    1. I am a 20-something year old male professional.
    2. I log onto Xbox Live and yell at strangers who are trying to enjoy themselves.
    3. I belittle players who are actually helping me.
    4. I ruin the experience for everyone.
    5. I gain nothing from this other than the disrespect and hatred of those I encounter.
    6. This is plainly a big part of my life.
    7. I am a thoughtless, lonely bigot with no friends or life.
    8. If anyone I knew saw me behave like this they would never speak to me again.

    ’nuff said.

    http://www.bungie.net/News/TopStory.aspx?story=weeklyupdatedec16&p=5666370

  4. Gato Says:

    Yeah, the 360 has the HD assholes in full effect. Except they are all supposed to be part of the underground, but most of them consider themselves Pro gamming assholes. Hopefully the avoid feature, which will have numerous gamer tags after a while, will help eliminate the jerks from random LIVE play.

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