Macho Urination
July 17th, 2006There is an interesting phenomenon that happens in men’s bathrooms everywhere. The macho-factor inherent in a male’s DNA escapes no aspect of life it seems.
The phenomenon has to do with a certain segment of the male population that, when faced with a urinal in the men’s bathroom, sees fit to do their whole business using only one hand. They step up to the white porcelain receptacle with one hand dangling in a care-free style at their side, supremely confident that they only need one hand to unzip their fly, free willy to do what he does, and return everything to it’s previous state.
I don’t know about you, but I find it needlessly risky to rely on one hand to negotiate the zipper (or worse, the button-fly!) and deliver my stream to the river. Not to mention making sure that everything is zipped and buttoned up after the stream dries up!
I call this macho urination because every time a dude does this, they do it with the bravado and swagger of someone who thinks they are better than the next because they can pee so easily.
All I have to say is whatever man. I can’t wait until I see some guy with pee all down his shorts because he was too cool to use both hands.
July 17th, 2006 at 12:03 pm
I never really thought of peeing with one hand but maybe I’ll give it a shot the next time I’m at the Cat. There seems to aways be pee on their floor so no worries if I miss the first few attempts.
July 17th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
The urinals in my building are always filthy, I would say its 50/50 macho/safe hold. I would hate to be the janitor…
July 18th, 2006 at 10:22 am
I have a private bathroom with a shower, so no real experience with the macho hold. Although when I have to observe collection, guys have to fumble with one hand on the collection cup and one had to control the wild stallion.
You should submit this to the urban dictionary to make this official slang.
http://www.urbandictionary.com
Some funny stuff on the site, like: Stall-Whaker
July 18th, 2006 at 12:52 pm
i actually need 3 hands.
ta ha ha
actually at work, i have to admit I take my bathroom trips seriously. There are no urinals in our bathrooms. We have a luxurious bathroom filled with fashion magazines and a bidet. http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2051.html
I generally sit so I can take the most time possible to enjoy the break that I am taking and read up on the world of fashion.
This is a very educational and pleasurable experience that I would highly recomend.